loving you

Calling my Angel - Jason Derulo w. Lyrics

2011-04-20T22:47:00.000+08:00

todae was a relax dae.starting with raining heavily when im gg to sch..haha..which made me mre sleepy n lazy to wake up..haha..
standard jgk,dis few wks been gg to sch with slippers due to rainy season,bt hey im still a gd gal kae,i bring my shoes..onli in sch i wear shoes bt cming n gg hm tyme i wear slippers..:))..

s i was browsing through e net,i found dis song meaningful.it may nt b attractive at 1st sight,bt e lyrics..
what happened if we were to lose some1 who is dearly to us..n left us in e dark all alone..every1 have his/her own 'angel'..its within themselves. dey might nt realized it till smtng were to happen.
in life,we were taught to b respectful,b sincere in wtever things u do..terima dan redha..
tetapi kadangkala, ujian yg mendatang akan btl menguji iman kte.kte boleh tahan dan bersabar,tetapi org yg terlibat dgn kte,tk kn lakukan yg sama.ibarat kte je yg mengalah,tetapi org laen yg selalu menang.

kkadangkala,kte hanya memendam rasa kerana tdak mahu org laen terluka.biar kte yg meluka,menangis,aslkan org yg kte sayang gembira,dan mampu senyum sepanjang masa...

well njy e song..:))

`hearts & kisses~
eeQa

free tyme

2011-04-15T01:21:00.000+08:00

todae is a great dae..:)).. went hm early due to rain!1..hehe..reached hm ard 5..cool ryte? once reached hm, changed, take a nap til 7..gosh..n e funny part wass, i thought its next dae.den soon after my mum cmes hm bringing nasi lemak..alhamdulilah..s i also feel hungry.so we shared e packet of rice..sweet kn?hehe..
its alr 1:20am in e morn n stil hafnt slp.nid to get up at 6.haha..tink better go nw..these cming daes will b busy n hectic ferme as im occpied with sch n wrk stuff..b nehmind,s long i haf rest,im okie wit it.s long s im nt hungry,im fine wit it.hehehe..kae la..nytes ppl..:))

~hearts & kisses ~
eeQa

new beginning

2011-04-14T01:09:00.000+08:00

woooohoooo..
fter a long time,nw i get to blog bck..heheh..seem like so old sch..
nw im yr 2 alr..cnt slack2..hehe..studies cme 1st den followed by othrs..:))
..well fer nw i've changed my studies strategy.hpe dis tyme it will bcme mre effective..
another bz wks to cme..hee..s e saying goes : it will get mre challenging s u proceed on to higher level of ur journey.e point is nt at e higher level,bt it is on e amt of effort u put in to complete those tough situations..:))..well m slpy nw..gg to slp..nyte

`hearts & kisses~
eeQa

love

2010-10-31T18:19:00.000+08:00

skg aku hanye ingin ketenangan.
aku sedar wt i've done..n i shud'nt have done it..
im gg to relax myself..i will recover myself of everyting..will clear my mind of everyting n b positive thinker..
kalau jelaskn skg pon,ade ke org nk percaye?
biarla..i might be hated n stuff bt its juz ppl's perception..s long im doing e ryte ting is fine enuff..s long s org semua bahagia..im happi too..

i juz hope get to clear my name...:)..surviving..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

tired

2010-10-19T23:48:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i blog..
n i tink its dat long since i reali let free of myself..
well things are nt sailing that well for a moment..
n im juz a ship that go with the flow..
if the sea is as peaceful,with beautiful waves and dolphins swimming ard me,my sail is gg to be a smooth and pleasent one..the passengers that is on my deck,will njy the sea breeze and the scenery..

bt however its nt up to us to determine the weather .sometimes out of sudden,a stormy weather can come in the middle of the sail.
during that time, i've to protect my passengers and still have to ensure they have a safe journey to their destination no matter what it takes.
in order to do that ,i've to be made of strong n flexible materials to prevent me frm sinking and corrode easily..it must make me strong to survive through storms and other difficult situations.

but fr now,e base of my heart is shacky..its being tested ovr n ovr agaen with different situations..
everytime it strts to get stable,thr'll alwaes be sumtin to break it dwn..

ryte nw,even its hard,i realli have to push myself.have to be independent.its just time that decides everyting..n the truth will prevail..for e benefit of othrs,i just let the matter pass,..sooner or ltr,they will realise..:)..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

irritated...

2010-05-15T00:32:00.001+08:00

BOOOOMMM!!!!

ITS BEEN A WHILE THAT I LAST UPDATED MY BLOG..

been bz since sch strts n im kinda lazy..haha..rite now i cnt possibly post what had happened to me last few wks on each dae rite?..so i juz sum up..

as for me,i duno y i always had this uneasy feeling evolving me these few wks..its like,wt i do is nt rite.
its a totally 'down' period for me n i didnt noe how to break away frm this curse..
its hard to kip each n eveyone of ur frends,family happy..

all i want is that all of my frends ,family all live in a happy condition n their happiness is my happiness..
recently,i get sum cntct frm my past frends..
thx for missing me and i appreciate that,bt life have to move on..wts past is past..its an experience for the both of us..true memories cnt b erased bt yea,s how e word means,its for 'memories'..

hope that u will find ur happiness n move on..
im missing my frends..eventhough they r there,yet they r far..
im searching for my light of life,my encouragement..to pull me bck together..

ryte now...i juz wan to go to a peaceful place n stay there..hehe..leave my fn in the house n off i go.:)..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

confusion

2010-04-22T23:35:00.000+08:00

today is the day that strarts well..
1st lesson is cmb..we had a fun activity whisch bonded us a lil more closer.
eventhough lessons ends at evening,we still had fun..

juz now after lesson,went to bkg 4 a while..with amira n shanaz bt shanaz went straight hm..bt bcz of wanting the loo badly,i decided to go to my aunt's hz instead of bkg store ..haha..den i play with faiqah 4 a while n den headed to bkg...it was kind of akward wearing formal gear to workplace..haha..i check my scheldue of work and told that i cnt work on sun..so im working this sat at 9 till 3 pm...

today the thought of chomel come again.i kept thinking who's gona cheer me up when im down..i miss chomel so much.eventhough she is juz a cat,bt her acts did'nt fail to make me happy again..those who i luv tends to drift away from me..umm wt's happening im also unsure..hehe..bt nevertheless i will focus on my scourse..i juz hope that everything is going perfectly..:)

tomorrow is last day of sch b4 it starts agan next wk..how cool is that..time is really ticking..hehe..kae then..till here..nitez..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

mind battle

2010-04-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

it was a good day for me when im in sch cz i cn mingle mingle with my friends..hehe..

today we were discussing abt what we are going to do for 'cck fund raising '.
shanaz n i planned to make friendship bands with the participation of the whole class. then some of the students can form a 'band' to be in charge of the promotion of the friendship bands and for song dedication purpose.

then today class ends at 5..feel sleepy n drag myself home.haha.when i reached hm,change my clothes,put my bag aside n went eating!!..like greedy pig i noe..haha..
after that,slack a wjile before took a short nap..

cut it short..i finish my day with a blog..at times like this,i will always think of my loved ones..thought of friends,family comes to my mind..
if i were to love again,will i be able to attain a blissful relationship?will i ever meet a guy who accepts me for who i m n not taking advantage of my kindness for you.will the guy do stufff which break my heart once i give him full attention..that kind of questions come knocking..
i really love my friends regardless girls or guys..n wt's more relationship..i treasure it more deeply..

tmrw 1st 2 hrs is cmb..gosh..better sleep now..if nt i will b dead..
nitez ppl..:)

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

new environment..

2010-04-20T00:43:00.000+08:00

wohoo..sch was great..didnt really get to on my laptop cause class always ends at 5 and im working on my poa!.yes.its poa!!!..cool or wt.haha..
last week was a brand new week at sch..lessons strts on tues onwards..n only this week we were told to wear our formal gear..haha..long sleeve blouse and splitted skirt..elegant or wt.
as we were asked to do class blog for cmb,i took this chance to update my personal blog as well..haha..

well days are going to be hectic and will not going s smoothly due to internal factor.bt i'll try my best to suffice it. now that i already started ite ,i kinda miss sec life..just chatted with khaileeda just now,and i really miss the old times..:(..

well i hope everyone get a better life ahead..this is only the beginning.!!

tc then..i gtg now as my pillow is waiting for me..hehe..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

brand new start

2010-04-10T23:01:00.002+08:00

olla!!!
random i noe..hehe..
im so happy!!..b4 sch starts,i already had a brand new life,brand new look n brand new mindset..
i wanted to erase all e tings that had happen in e past that brings pain memories to me.i want to b a new person.i want to b a more mature thinking person,an optimistic thinker, more cheery person who brings laughter to everyone's heart..
i dun wish to b e old atiqah who was always being tricked upon. because of her kindness,pure n true heart,she kept being stepped on time n time again. for those who she treasure s friends ,some of dem took advatnge of her innocent character. they noe e old atiqah cn be easily fooled at,will lend a helping hand regardless of wt situation she may be in..
s for realationships, i dun wish to b a fool for a second time..past experience had really shown me,in a relationship,it takes two hands to clap.it also shows me that reasons n excuses are two different things.
well i dun wish to openup again.
i pray that if i were to get into a relationship again,may i mit sum1 who really appreciates and accept me for who i m. i dun want to b entanngled with ppl who miuse my trust n heart. if u wana joke,kae fine cn,bt not to e extreme..
for those who might not noe me quite well,or already noe me ,there is one thing that i've always keep it a secret..that is,i cn be patient at all times withstanding ur craps n stuffs bt once u did something which make me feel unbearable anymore,i will slowly break it off n will not communicate with u.i will turn my back against u.i will give u cold shoulder n stuff : u will expecting something different from me.n once i turn my bck against u,no matter how hard u plead me,i'll just say "enuf .i already forgive u.so what's e matter?its only that we cnt be close like we used to b in e past."
thats all...
im just tired of playing the 'stupid' role..i want to try new roles which may suit my personality..so yeah..
cnt wait to start sch on monday..may our lives be always happy..:)

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

memories

2010-04-04T16:21:00.004+08:00

4 april 10..its e day i've come clean with my status.im officially classified 'single'..
the plain truth somehow makes me sad.i really hate that word 'breakup'..
eventhogh i already preapred for it,the loss feeling is somehow thr.the feeling still upsets me.he's the one who really filled up my heart n the one who crush my heart.,

that's y now im the one who feel more hurtful then he does. he only regret that he disappoint me n did'nt cherish me..bt how abt me then?.im more disappointed cz only now then he only realised.the cruel reality.

now i don't know how to love n who to love again.
i juz hope when we meet again in different stand of life,we would still be friends.

im just upset that why every guy i tend to fall for,would did this to me..is it bcoz im too kind hearted .

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

random

2010-03-26T21:04:00.002+08:00

im starting my day with a big smile despite of e lack of sleep the night before..i don't know why on earth i cnt get to sleep. its like after i get a few hrs of sleep,i'll be automatically be awake n scratch myself..my body was itchy..bt dun get the wrong idea yea..i do bathe b4 sleeping kae..its just unusual experience..hehe
umm yesterday was cool..chill ard at jurong park with hisyam n nad..cool pe..aku yg tkt nk maty..

get hm at 10 sia..den mlm otf wit dem again..im now feeling kind of relief s one of my major prob is settled..
sumtimes im just thinking,y ppl don't cherish what they have now bt then regret ltr bcz they may lose the things they have rihgt now.
im talking out of experience. im really disappointed.when im there for you,you took no notice of me.u hurt my feelings without spending a lil thought for it. and when i begin to start over,u came bck to my life.u begin to come close again.
if i may ask you one question,it will be 'what do you take me for actually?'.
i think heaven is fair.u r experiencing karma..im nt putting on revenge on you bt yea,sometimes ppl need to experience fall before they know the meaning of pain.

bt wtever it is ,we will still be friends..im a forgiving person.i dont come bck for revenge on the ppl who did me wrong. i just pray that those ppl will repent and don't repeat the same mistakes to others. i will just forgive n forget abt it.

i hope u finally realized that all this while i hav'nt ever tell a lie to you nt even once bt i noe u had lie to me many times despite u put it s a reason..bt nehmind..forget abt the past..:)
im feeling great now that i cn let it go a lil by lil n sooner or ltr,it will soon be gone..:)..the hurt will flow away..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

brand new

2010-03-24T23:44:00.002+08:00

today i just laze ard at hm.guess wt time i wokke up?at 130 pm!!..haiya..
cz i slept at 5 am!!..was otf with hisyam n illi..we were like talking,chit chatting n tell stories..haha..
n yea..while they were talking abt ghost stories,i was shutting my ears..haha..
his grandmother had passed away yesterday afternoon..n obviously he was feeling down..n so we chit chat..try to cheer him up.
today hes bck in s'pore..

niway i missed my friends who's at the chalet now!!!.. sad se..yesterday was fun..bt too bad i cnt sleep over..so now im just waiting for their 'news'..

kay la..i want to sleep..tired liao..still haf probs with sum friends..haiz..im sorry to caused so much trouble with u.i guessed im nt a gd friend then..

bt wt ever it is,tc..n u always b my gd frend...

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

hyper..

2010-03-19T01:02:00.008+08:00

yessaa!!!

hehe..todae's been a great n tired dae for me..

early morning wake up at 830am,cz have plan wth mac peeps..hisyam n shahir..

frm the 1st meeting je da kecoh..haha..

went to zam zam restraunt to haf breakfast..cool pe..it was all on hisyam.

me n shahir ordered nasi briyani chicken while hisyam ordered murtabak chicken medium-sized..

we went to bugis street to buy shahir's pants.. n looking for syam's backpack.. as we already went to bugis early in the morning,to had heavy breakfast cum lunch, e shops are yet to open ..most of e shops are still close..so yea .been looking ard..4 the cargo pants..n finally found it..
to cut the story short,After that we went to penisula to buy some things..after much effort..haha..
frm thr i buy a blck sweater..well nt literally bought frm me..ikts on hisyam..thx bro..it was unexpected..he also treat shahir to shirts.. dat sweater i only wore it to werk cz of e material..its soft n comfy..hehe..im goin to buy it again e other tyme i cum thr..i luv it..
time to go hm aft one dae shop n pillow waiting fer me..haha

kaela..dats it..nitye every1..
~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

sick

2010-03-15T23:16:00.002+08:00

FIIINNNAAALLYYY!!!

my blog had a mini makeover..hehe..thx to my dearest chingu..hehe..kamsamhamida..

todae i rest at hm..decided to giv my body a treatment frm streess..laze ard at hm e whole dae..
had a terible tyme yest at werk..i hurt my rite wrist..its e 2nd tyme in a row within a mth..!!i dun blame e managers bt im tired too..i werked 6 hrs straight doin wedgecoat alone ...w/o break..
haiya..i dun mind withstand e hunger bt my hands..i treasure dem,,esp my right hand..
thx rahman for comforting me yesterdae..if nt i tink i'll break down..

now im alone..my happiness is sumhow slipping away..y cnt we maintain it..i alr tried my very best to maintain it..bt i guess its nt it..it realli takes 2 hands to clap..
n now i've juz to deal with e feeling..of recovery..im juz hurt cz im left cluelessly. do u realli wan me ever gif up on u?if i did dat,im afraid i wnt b able to cntct u animore..i'll acept wts ur decision..if its wt u realli wan, i've ntg more to sae,except pls change..dun ever do dis kind of stupid attitude to any gals.. let me b e last 1 u tormented..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

2010-03-15T15:08:00.002+08:00

Sorry people..Please tag me with your blog url as i lost some of your blog links..Thank you.. and i am back from hiatus..

2010-03-12T01:29:00.004+08:00

BLOG
WILL
BE
ON
HIATUS
FOR
THE
TIME
BEING
..
THANK
YOU
FOR
THE
CONCISERATION.!

clueless

2010-02-25T18:28:00.003+08:00

how cruel cn e world b..
chances n chances are given ample times..
yet,it somehow stil e same..

sumtymes i wonder,wt rong did i do in e past to get such treatment.
sumtymes i wonder, dun u haf thoughts abt how r my feelings..haf u ever spare a thought of how i feel wen u casually cancel e date,which u had promised n make me look up to it eagerly..gosh..how cruel cn u b ..

i also duno wt m i holding on to..dun u c n sense how my feelings bcame due to ur actions..i fear dat ,if u continue doing like dis,e feelings dat i haf,will change..

mayb ur upset wif me cz nt getting much affection frm me,bt heys, dats nt e reason y ur doin dis aite..u shud haf known dat im begin to open up to u..i juz wonder,how u treat ur past gf's..

its painful dat ur treatin me like invisible paper..i juz hope u noe dat im true.i dun wana u to regret ltr wen i gif up.it realli b hurtful to both of us..

i kip to ur werd dat u wud mit me tmrw,bt in e end u cnt..i offered to go to ur place,juz to mit u 4 a lil while,u shut me dwn immediately..well..i juz hope u meant wt u sae abt how sorry u r in treatin me bck den..

i dun wan even think abt it ,ur e one who build me up n e one who tear me down..
dun make me think ur e most unreasonable person of all..cn darlz?

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

finally..

2010-02-25T00:31:00.001+08:00

fuhh..finally able to blog aft a long long tyme in ancient...

thx to my fren humairah,i get to blog agaen..

haf lots of updates to do..
recently, :
im feeling sooo pathetic..i dunno wts bcuming of me..everyting dat i do,doesnt seem ryte..
call it a cycle..now im at e lowest point..
my patience,pride r being tested..all r being tested..i've no one to talk to..

sumtymes bcz of sum1 too,im almost feel like shut down ..these daes,a lot of ppl had been opposing me..

dilemma..
lucky my frens r there ..thx frens..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

anxious.

2010-01-10T22:02:00.002+08:00

wahh!!!!!...tmrw results liao..haish..am so scared...:(...i dunno how i perform..bt yea..im prepared 4 e worst..m i?...i want so much to go to np!!!..i hope i get through...haish......finally get to blog aftr few daes..cz bz werkin n tired..lol...my energy r fully used 4 it n left me xhausted wen reach hm...now den get to blog..

to my dearest frenssss....relax n chill,even to myself too...hope dat we all get to our destined poly n jc yea..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

new year!!!!

2009-12-31T20:52:00.002+08:00

wohooo..todae is e last dae of 2009!!!

sruck midnyte,its 01 JAN 2010!!!!!

it seem tyme do flies..a year has alr reaching its end..all e events,unhappiness,sadness,happiness all dat will b cherished n remembered..
dis cuming year is a brand new year wherby me n my frens will be separated..we r no longer b part of hyss.. :(...
i will mis e tymes we r together 4 e 5 yrs..we only mit agaen on e results dae..

i will mis e hardship we spend together..:(..
there will b noone 4 me to feel iritated wif or bicker wif..hehehe..all of those will b kept s memories..

*wishes*

1.i hope i will gain hapines n new frendships at new school n werkplace.
2.if i were to find dat sum1,let us b frens who can joke ard wif 1 n other,who is carefree n is a honest chap.
3.i want to make more $$ to hlp my family income
4.i wanna fufill wt i cnt dis yr to feel relieved.

ryte now i muz build strong inner mental strength n phsyical stength so dat i cn stay alive..c'mon gal!!! u cn do it kaez..

i wish every1 a brand happy new year ahead..may it bcum more fruitful to u..
*aja aja* *hwaiting*

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

thx

2009-12-30T23:43:00.002+08:00

e dae dat i 1st saw u,
is e dae dat change my life.
e daes dat i cntct u,
r e daes dat u open my heart.
e tyme spend noein each other,
is e tyme dat makes me yearn 4 u.
bt now,everyting changed..

u were nt lyke b4..
eventhough u provide me reasons 4 ur absence,i noe its white lies..
im nt being emo here..

bt at tymes i really do wanna understand u,try to pujuk my heart to accept ur reasons..bt haf u ever once,consider my feelings?
i try nt to b paranoid n unreasonable..u left me being confused..
i feel sumtin is amiss nowadaes..i dun feel e warm,e love,e carre.. i dunno..
wt haf i done to deserve dis?well i realli appreciate 4 givin me encouragement wen im down n spurred me during xams..
is it ryte 4 me to sae : since u noe im faithful,u tend to test my patience n had me on..
r u tryin to test how deep is my feelings 4 u or how strong my feelings r 4 u?

well if u R ,u win..i alr begin to giv up..i cnt stand ur avoidence..my patience is slowly deteorating..thx to u..i may encounter another setback..

im juz puzzled,y muz i deserve dis..y ,u who i trust e most,did dis..

if ur intention is to make me fall,i hope u will live happily..
i dunno whther u will get another person who realli patient wif u..

i alwaez regard u s a bro,lover n bestfren..i do hope u realize dat i only haf a pure heart which gif love to her 1 n only man..u noe im true..

~heart & kisses~
eeQa

relaxing

2009-12-29T22:23:00.002+08:00

todae..i laze ard at hm..haf rest b4 start werkin..
went to take jab yesterdae n went to werk place to gif e tings required..

life begin to turn normal..a lilitle at tyme..event now s i was typin,i feel bored n lonely..there's no one here wit m..darlz also bz..cnt mit up..n im really scared of a quiz dat i took frm fb literally cum true..'BREAKUP'...
hope dats nt true..now juz haf to bear ..currently bat is runnin low..will continue tmrw..

nyte..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

heartbroken

2009-12-27T11:09:00.003+08:00

todae is second dae after chomel's death..e moments really is different..everywhere i go,cnfrm will make me remind of her..

its juz worsen s how m i gona face thoughest daes w/o u..who gonna make me laugh wen im down..who im gonna play wif once i reach hm frm sch or werk..now i dun haf any reason to kip me feelin eager to go hm frm anywhere..

still remember e tyme wen after i got u..i cnt wait to get hm fast in order to play wif u..early in e morn i will cum late s play wif u too..until my frens all take no notice..haha..

yea..its juz different..mayb others will tink,'oh,its juz a cat..u cn alwaez get another 1..' bt if ur an animal lover,u wnt lyke treat it juz s an animal..u will treat it s part of u.

.the next dae i plan to go out alone.i juz listen to mp3 in e train n msg nana..at 1st shes outside..den wen i was at cityhall,she saed shes at hm alr..kae la..den plan plan plan ,go cityhall..walk2..

we windowshop,den out of sudden,theres 3 guys,i malay,chinese e other i tink is a mixed..stalk us n askin 4 our numb..we were lyke'...HAHAHAHAHAHA'..in our hearts..

shessh..its was really funny..frm our actions dey do noe dat we both r att bt still sae' nehmind la..we can still b frens wt..' at last me n nana go in to 1 of e shop to avoid dem..

we dun mean anytink ..even if we r nt att,we wud nt gif our numbs lyke dat..dats nt e way to woo opp sex ya..

it was ard 815 alr,n nana pelawa me go to her hz..her parents ask her to bring me to her hz earlier bt we go cityhall 1st..haha..i play wit lolok n puteh..very funny..lolok was lyke seducin me with his sniffin my legs,gesel2 at my legs n foot..i also becum high 4 a while..haha..lol..

hes face is similar to chomel..only wen i was playin wif puteh..i accidentally called hym chomel..my heart skip a beat n tears auto fall...haish..i guess i haf to b strong on my own ryte now..bt wtd..shes lyke a sis to me..very close..

i juz hope i cn get over it n take care of another cat..a siamese cat..sama lyke chomel..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

broken heart..

2009-12-25T17:40:00.009+08:00

every living ting will surely undergo dis path called 'DEATH'.
dis morn incident realli makes my heart shatters n it cnt b fixed within a short period of tyme.i realli am feel lost ryte now..e sight of u layin motionlesly at e groundfloor realli makes me out of mind.

here's my tribute to u..

chomel,my beloved cat,i wish u peace n happiness.ur journey has ended todae.im very sowie if u slipped due to my carelessness or wt..bt i realli mish u..its lyke onli yesterdae i taske care of u bt todae..ur gone..

its hard to imagine dat ur gone..now dat ur gone,who is gonna b my fren..wen im stress n unhappy,whos gona b there wit wilful acts to make me happy agaen??..ugh..dis is so hard..

~heart & kisses~
eeQa

exhausted

2009-12-25T01:25:00.003+08:00

23 dec 2009..e date dat i juz started to werk..eventhough its a small pay n tiring, im blessed to haf dis job..i get a job in f&b line,common s'pore's fav eating place,macdonalds..hehex

it caught me by suprised..i tink i wrote it in my previous post abt how it started..well at 1st i was scared of e acceptance of new member in dat mac..i was e only malay employee wit all chinese crews..e manager in charge was a malay 2.during doin e job, i cnt hlp bt feel a lil helpless ..i was alone..n kinda stress too..bt no matter wt i've to strive on..i noe e pay is kinda small..bt at least i get paid n cn gif my mum a lil..

i've to get my injection real fast s to start werk agaen on mon..dis sat morn im goin poly n get my injection done b4 goin sumwhere..sun i nid to rest n mon i strat werk agaen..:).. fellow crews ..plish b easy on me..show me e way n plish dun b harsh..thx..

i miss darlz..cnt wait to mit hym soon..:)..sumtymes i wonder haf u written a bk on mindreading b4..sumtymes u realli make my blood go upsatirs wen ur 'biscuit' behaviour shows up randomly..r u plannin to get rid of me fast b y dis way..by makin me haf high blood pressure??..

last bt nt least.. wanna wish all my frens n ppl out thre, "MERRY CHRISTMAS,SANTA IS CUMIN..TONIGHT.."..WOOHHOOO

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

memories

2009-12-22T23:04:00.002+08:00

its been a while since we contacted..wenever im alone or c ur fb or friendster,i feel guilty of myself..

im nt e person who emo bt sumtymes i really feel bad n dun wish to remember any of e past..its alr been 3 yrs..in my life dats e 1st tyme i've hurt sum1's feeling..in total i've hurt 2 person..first of all to Boii,im sorry 4 e mistake dat i've done..i shudn't haf make dat decision..im really sorry.ryte now wt im feeling is mayb e feeling dat u felt wen i make dat shit decision.ryte now i feel dat its my turn to feel e agony. well wt cn i sae,tings turned out dis way..im juz hopin dat ur fine n live ur life happily..i still remeber ur last sentence'u btl wan it?'..wt cn i do to stop tinkin of u.i hope u wud forgive my mistake dat i made 3 yrs ago..i hope to mit u agaen s to giv wt u own,e keychain..i still safekeep it for u..mayb u had it thrown away bt i cnt bear to throw it away cz its urs..n im gonna ..return it to u personally 1 dae..
its tyme to giv u bck..

wt i feel now is guilt,sad,disappointment..i really regret it...i regret cz i didnt treasure u..u giv me love,i didnt c it..how cn i ever clear of dis feeling?tell me Boii..ryte now im att, n i really scared history will repeat.. dis tyme i really treasure Darlz n i hope its true..

nowadaes he kip M.I.A n didnt reply to my mails..i scared.i scared to sms hym cz i fear dat his mum usin his numb..pls cntct me..u saed to sms me once u bought a new fn last sat..bt no news frm u..

haish..matters of heart really stressful..hlp me..
i dun wan to b trapped in e past..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

woohoo

2009-12-22T22:58:00.002+08:00

..todae is a lucky dae....finally i hav a werk..
didnt really xpected e mac manager to kol me aft a while..i thought i wudnt get a job thr bt yea..i get it..

tmrw is my 1st dae of strt werk n im very nervous..i noe e pay 4 fast food restaurants is a little lower compared to star bucks n etc bt nehmind as long s i get pay n cn gif my mmum,im satisfied..

now i wanna go slip n refreshed b4 start werk todae..dis is really funny s dis prediction cum true..in e evening i chatted wit insy regarding intro me to bricks,bt den out of nowhere mac name came out..n aft dat e manager kol..wah..is dis koled luck or what..haha..

~heart & kisses~
eeQa

happy b'dae to me & salam maal hijrah

2009-12-18T13:44:00.007+08:00

yeaaaa...todae is e dae..18 dec 1992 is e dae i was born..n after 17 yrs ,it had 1 more speciality attached to it..it is maal hijrah..a new yr 4 e muslims..:)..

these are e pressies i received..

e square present comprising of knowledgeable book of 3 series..hehe..it is a gift frm cik marsiah n amiera..thx guys..

NExt one is frm my loveable cuzz..its a carebear..wen i 1st got this i wass really really really amazed n touched bcoz i didnt really aspect to get a carebear for my pressie..i was only hopin i get 1 bt didnt realy expect to literally haf it..haha..thx sis..n it cums wit a speaker too..its really magical..

thx guys 4 e lovely pressie..jus comback frm outing wit nana..initially it was me n fiz bt sum tings happen along e way n he cnt be reached..its sad la cz e promise cnt be kept .. thx nana 4 spendin e dae wit me in his place..n haf fun eating e cake too..haha...i had fun us going to e sports shops at vivo lookin at e shoes n sports attire..smpaikan maen hide n seek eh ..mentang2la kau kecik,menyelit je kau nie..hehe..thx pal..love u..hehe

all in all thx 4 makin dis dae a special 1..n i want to watch ss501..bye..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

exhausted

2009-12-07T00:07:00.002+08:00

haiyaa..finally get to blog agaen..been so busy.. last tyme during O also bz..now AFTER also bz..

bz finding job ler..recently had a chat wit mum..my heart was lyke crying inside,keeping cool for s long s i cn n try very hard nt to show her my 'soft' side..i juz feel lyke im hopless cz nt doin anyting to hlp her since now i've e tyme..

in my family,mum is supporting e family.eventhough there r 2 more person werkin,bt it feels lyke mum is e only 1 werkin..i hate living wit ppl who r nt considerate..i noe i shudnt haf sae dis bt,b grateful dat u hav a place to live.cnt u even hlp out wit e finance???
im tired n sick of this kind of life..all of u depend on mum,s if she's e one staying WITH u guys..wen mum is sick,eventhough she doesnt show,do all of u care???at this point of tyme i reallly wish dat dad is still ard..if dad is still ard,none of dis wud haf hapen.
e sight of u really makes my blood boil..bt too bad cz i'm still nt in e right to talk to u guys..how long r u guys gonna b free loader..such idiots..!!!if only i haf a job soon..

im juz worried dat my mum wud fall sick due to over werk..i really dun wanna lose another parent in my life if nt i haf no one to depend too..

i juz hope dat u will hlp out..my patience is alr at e max..i dun wish to xplode...

confused

2009-11-30T16:05:00.002+08:00

as ppl are now having holidae,of cz they r looking 4 jobs ,relax n so on..
not excluding me..been asking ard lately..n now waiting for replies..as my frens all get their jobs on sleeve,i dunwanna been left alone lazing ard at hm..if i cnt find any jobs via online, i will go for fastfood...my last resort..hehe..
urgh..am so bored se..wanna go out,bt haf no fulus..:(....
abg lan..pls get dat job 4 me aite..my last hope is u man..if u get it for me..i will do wtever u sae..haha..pls pls pls...
staying at hm is bored

woohooo

2009-11-25T20:29:00.003+08:00

WOOOHHOOOO...

exams is waee back over n now am enjoyin myself..i didnt update my blog s i literally 4got n haf no tyme..well s my tyme was spent in finding jobz n watch movies on net..hehe..

well after grad nyte,i went to np 4 red camp..it was wae wae wae awesome!!!... really njoyed myself n met another 2 atiqahs..hehex..my grp was E HORNY VIKINGS..hehe..
.eventhough a week had pass frm e red camp..i still feel lyke its juz todae it starts...

im also glad dat i will get a job soon n im learning to cook ..hehe..

bt of cz i'll miss my sec frens who alwaez stand by me 4 5 yrs..

jia you guys...we can do it...

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

panicky

2009-10-13T19:01:00.002+08:00

GOOOSSSSHHH!!!!! datuk 0 is nearing....im so scared ...wt i scared most is during e xam itself..

a teacher once saed to me dat actually i can do it bt bcoz it is in e xam mode n wts more e situation is tense,i tends to black out n go panicky all over..haish..
wtd..now im revising my way through at hm.i cnt afford to waste anymore precious tyme..

its easy dis way cz i cn revise till late at night n continue in e morning w/o going anywhere..arrghhh i dunno how to describe how i feel ryte now..

lucky in e tymes lyke dis, i really haf e support frm my frens,n family..n also to u,bebeh..hehehe..

im glad dat now tings started to change.thx a lot..bt wen u suddenly shut urself up,it makes me feel unsettled.at least return me a kol or a miskol so i'll get back to u aite..if u can do this to me, i also can u noe...haha..

im juz happy dat i haf sum1 who i can confide to s a fren who really understands me..i hope u do..haha...i really lyke mixing with ppl who r easy going n really talk s frens..haha kae wt crapppy....

till here...

hearts n kisses
~eeQa~

bbuuuzzzziiinnng

2009-10-07T22:37:00.004+08:00

grreeaaattt...now i haf a little tyme to surf net 4 a while n check my facebook properly n replying mails after a long tyme..hehez..
xams r catching up reeeaaalll soooonn...burr..e thought of it scares me..everydae do revision n ntg else..i dunno y e fear that i haf is worsening dae by dae..

few weeks back , a fren who had left me 1 yr ago started to kol me,contacting me back..well s im bz i didnt entertain much kols or smses unless its important.well im kinda surprised cz i alr didnt anticipATE much anymore frm hym..bt he asks for 4giveness..in my heart i was saeing 'i noe la now is hari raye period, bt u dun hav to wait till raye to apologise wt,m i ryte?' n all of dat had passed n i alr 4give u :)

as nt to fall back to old tymes, i told hym to really reconsider abt our frenship agaen..ryte now studies is e only ting in mind..really..

bt wtever it is.. we r still frens n cn get along..:)..
.

but of course, charisma is alwaes e 1st..hehe..

ps: dun hurt others cz u will never wanna feel e hurt urself..

matters of heart is frustrating..haish..

hearts & kisses
~eeQa~

rush

2009-09-17T18:06:00.002+08:00

OH MY GOODD....todae was practical dae...
n i tell wrong info to amalina!!.*useless*

todae is our prelim sci practical xam..e feeling dat i haf was cautious,scared,anxious and happy..i really dunno how it turn out to b lyke..
bt deep in my heart i was hoping for e best.

start out with bio practical..i dunno whwther m i suppose to laugh ,grateful or complain..i tink im more to grateful to ms leyana.its abt testing 4 starch in e leaf.dis experiment had been gone through millions of tymes and thank god im able to do it.xcept 4 e drawing part..

soon after proceed on doing chem.it was disaster.its an easy xperiment though,test for copper.bt bcause of mispalcing one of e item,make my xperiment haywire.i was soooo embarrassed and sad because i cnt do it properly. i dun wanna tink of wt comments i wud get frm mr soo 4 my chem.cnfrm he tinks dis simple xperiment also i cnt do.

to cut it short,frm nxt wk onwards
*please take note*
- i will not b blogging too much and nt hooked to net to much till my datuk O is over.if i haf e tyme on weekends den i will surf. these electronic devices will be cast aside so dat there will be no disturbance to my concentration of sch werk..i noe ppl may sae ooohh its too late to really start revising now..shud start earlier n stuff lyke dat..
bt hey..agaen if theres a will theres a way..each n every one of us haf a diiferent approach to study..s for me, if im really focused n i mean really am,i will succed even its last min or stuff..actually im dissapointed in myself too..bt wtd..only realise ltr..*faint*

kae gtg now..mum is nagging nagging...so cya in a mth's tymee or evan tmrw..haha..in any case i didnt blog agaen,i wanna wish all e muslims SELAMAT HARI RAYA..MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN..
if i haf offended any one of u in e past,im really sorry..whether it is uninetentional or intentional..

~hearts & kisses~
eeQa

relaxing

2009-09-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

heyy...itts been a while since i blog..well now is prelim period n im bz with tings..soo yea no time to blog..

lately my daes are great..can rest for a while now..past weeks its been hectic for me..lucky i've tyme to slow down..haha..

my life is sesuming to normal eventhogh its slow..begining to like my life now..stress free frm any friendships..only studies is my rival..

before dis i had post a blog abt an incident at TTSH bt it had error..urgh..soo frustrating..haha ..miss dat charisma nurse guy..haha..kae im crazy..well wana wish to all my muslim frends.evarybody and to hym haapy fasting and jgn puase yok2 kaez?..tk puase tapi ble raye dier yg lebih..kalahkan dgn org brpuase lagaknye..

till den..hehe..slippy alr..

hearts & kisses
~eeQa~

relax

2009-08-19T16:21:00.000+08:00

after a night slip n relax my brain cells..i feel a bit better..prelim starting dis fridae..i am looking forward to fridae cz many things gonna hapen after e papers..after papers,will be going out..at least there's sum1 who wish to go out with me..jalan2..haha..bt puase no way..

bt wt worrys me is dat..skg duet nga ketat..how to go out..tk kn nk jady free loader la plk..hmm..lau dun mind eatin at hm den its okie lor..actually mlz se nk kelua..bt since u insist,kae den..blanje uh kae awk..lol..

kk..juz now early in e morn..da uat hal..cirit birit la,pening la,apela..semua kelua..i was lyke shit la..den trpakse cum at 1 juz to noe malay O level results..majority gets a B3 n merit for language n oral respectively..

but wt really touch me is dat,khaileeda's reaction..im happy 4 u..congrats on getting an A :)..i alr noe u cn do it..u dun hav to tink -ve all e tyme aite..yeap bt den we were asked to and recommended to retake to achieve a better grade..n sooo...e paper is signed..

my result is expected cz ryte aftr sitting for e mly paper in jun,i have no faith in gettin an A,i thought i wud be getting a B3 or B4..at dat point of tyme,i cnt really developed ideas for paper 1..now, i will read on to have more unnderstanding n kip in track of news ard..
dis mon is eng 0 level oral..ishk..scared sia..i scared cnt score..

in tymes lyke dis..my thoughts went back to hym..urgh..i still remember how he cheer me on during mdy exam..who's gonna cheer me on now..i noe i shud'nt be relying on his support bt wtd its in memories..

a fren complained to me nt long ago..
her: 'kn bagus kalo ade mataer..ade org nk love..tkla boring'
me: 'bagus tu bagus la if u cn find e ryte one n also yg tolak ansur..u c me..u cn tell'
her: 'ala bt now u still have new frens pe yg knl2..haha..i satu pon tkde..haha'
me: 'haha..lau nk amek uh..i dunwan..i wanna find sum1 lyke sexy charisma..den im sastified..'

haha..now no more love in mind..juz frendshp..i make a promise to myself..frm now on,if i were to fall in love agaen..i will find sum1 lyke sexy charisma..hes so charming..his face is relax n natural..n love his smile..haha..
*cross hands near heart* i wish i cud mit wit sexy charisma one dae n go date..lol..

hearts & kisses
~eeQa~

turmoil

2009-08-19T00:09:00.002+08:00

i noe its already late at nite..in fact its alr morn..wtd i cnt slip..spent e dae outside go uncle hz n lot 1 in e evening for a while..even ryte now i juz have dis feeling dat wnt leave me for good..
i try all means to shake dis fcukin feelin away..bt..

browsing through ss501 videos on youtube..a really suitable song catch my attention..im nt bein emo bt i really do find e lyrics is as if talkin abt wt im facin now..'be nice to me,please-kim hyung joong'.. out of all e other solo collection songs which each one of them had ..dis song has a deep meaning if u understand it..

haiz..a chatter chat wit me earlier on..a new fren..i was lyke wonderin y i kip noein ppl frm east side..haha..actually hav no mood to chat wit any1 n pwefer alone,bt i noe its nt helpin..so ya..starts frendly conversion. he ask whether wen im free..i saed nt sure..haha..among e qns asked,only i cnt ans dis ans..

hym:eh u okae..?wts rong..
me:am nt in bes of mood ..sowie uh..
hym:u sgl or att?

now dats e qn i cnt ans..how m i supose to ans..bt i noe frm e way it is now,e ans is -ve..

me:dunno..tukar topic cn?

n yea..bt i really wanna tankx e malay gals,khai,fazzy,amalina,fad n also nana for tryin to cheer me up yest...
there's really no kols or smses..is dis it?
tabahkan la hatiku ini..

sesungguhnye perpisahan ini paling menyakitkan...frens bear wit me aite..dis wk if im quiet in klas..PLS,PLS dun misunderstand..cz i really wanna focuz in klas n also b calm..so..yea i dun wan history to repeat..:)..
goin to get sum slip now..

hearts & kisses
~eeQa~

hurt

2009-08-18T14:09:00.000+08:00

SURRENDER..!!!!!

dats how i feel rite now..finally i've cum to my senses..thx 4 letting me find out who u r..thx 4 letting me living in hope ..thx 4 help me realise how foolish i am .yea mayb now ur laughin at my stupidness..

u were so wrong bt i still love u..

ryte now..i really dunno how to phrase it..e hurt dat is being rubbed in,getting deeper n deeper..if only u noe im true to u in all ways..u'ill never be able to imagine how i feel ryte now..its really hard u noe dat.. i cant believe u do dis.

i never ever imagine im wud be smashed hard against e wall uh..y..dats wt i wanna noe..i wanna listen to e intentions of e real u..

kte da cm strangers..i da uat everytin i can to b perfect in ur eyes..bt i guess im wronged..now i dunno wt im gonna do..wtever it is wish u happiness over my grieveness..n thx uh 4 showing me wt luv is abt..e pain xperience really matures me.

ryte now dis heart is xtremely hurt n nt sure whether it can be mend....

selamat tinggal...kekasihku...;(..semoga kau bahagia..

hearts n kisses
~eeQa~

recovery

2009-08-15T01:31:00.002+08:00

i was not bloggin 4 a while due to recovery..isolate myself frm e net..acept checkin mails..bt now...

im back..well agaen..am so happy...haha..

kk..spent 3 daes at hm restin,do sum revisions...n try to drive myself away frm tinkin of us 4 a while..
todae went back to sch wit an open heart..thank god i didnt faint..todae is e tiredest dae..after went to sheng siong (4get to spell la)..receive a kol frm cik muna to take food hm..i was lyke..'argh'..

rushin here and there..den have 2 xam at mad..(havnt learn sia..shh)..doom waitin 4 me...bt i noe..im nt e only 1..satu klas jiwe..haha..at yew tee..e charlies angels arrive 1st follow by charlie..hehe..bt on second thought..i declsred us 5 as e jiwez..haha..
kae crappy...

rite now im too high alr(dun tink -ve only uh)..a close fren of mine help me wit e blogskin n stuff..i dunno since wen i started to fall in luv with korea popular boyband ss501....esp lucky sexy charisma..hes ..urgh...haha..wanna noe who?..go find out urself or if noe,shut up..haha... ya..so sorry sorry if e blog u r reading suddenly appears to be a sum kind of korea freak one..bt im a malay kae..dun 4get dat..sooo
credits shud go to EKIN DINZLY...hehe..thx beb..lau tungu aku yg update ,download nie semua berejam la jwb nye.. ..tady sendiri jeewangz xplain abt anti virus stuffs...i +blur+....haha cnt blame me..

till den..now i wanna surf net..cnt slip la..cz im frusfrated rite now..all my emotions are mixed..so wanna chill..hehe

hearts n kisses
~eeQa~

madness

2009-08-08T13:28:00.000+08:00

yest finally im feeling better after restin 4 a while at hm..*thankfully*..
i went to sch yest n 7 ppl turn up..2 malay n 5 chinese..heheh..n yea mdm chan saw me,asking'eh..wt apen to u?i only get to c you todae..wt apen to e rest?'

den i tell her e reason n she's shock..well now dat im back..i continue oo work hard agaen since exam is nearing..yester too e malay gals pllan an outing together..unfortunately i cnt go..n yea i've to imagine e fun n laughter..bt nvm..s long dey havin fun den its nt a prob..

yest too at madrasah was funny too..it all started wen i mit with ekin,insy at int..yest i was usin lanyard n hang my fn under my shawl..my plan was to read e notes which i've stored inside e fone 4 my reference 4 e test im gonna take...eventhough e wee r standin in a cool conditioned mrt,we r still sweatin..insy started to take out her fan n was fannin away...we start to joke ard n at a point she hit my hand wit her fan which she thought was ekin's hand..haha..

yest ekin transfered her 'new stocks' to me via hp..she likes KHJ,insy likes KB N me likes LMH..haha..we were callin each other names n yea miss the jokes..

tyme madrasah lagyla kecoh..i ask uztaz 4 e test paper n he was lyke
'aik,lama nah awk nk amek.da brpe lama dah..knpe skg aru nk ckp..'
n i saed
'err saya baru dtg hary nie..ade mc uztaz..sbb tu la ckp skg..'

ekin n insy was lyke laughin n laughin..in e end uztaz sae i take e test durin puasa..n ask frm 1 uztazah bcoz he alr bring back e papers..

den we had our arab lesson...n was told to do 2 task.e second task initially was easy bt den cz our brain cells nt functionin ..we stood there lyke goblogz..haha..i was heran cz asl bdk2 guys dgn cptnye le complete n kteorg terkial2 je..da tu smpt la tngk 'abg merah' walk past..ish3 tk patut tk patut krg..
n guess wat..after askin shah how to do,we also step uh..
'a'ah la kau..sng gnie pon tk tau uat..pe la..aku da tau da..'hahaha..

at 915,uztaz fav jeewangz came n take over e klass unusually early..i was lyke
'mimpi ke pe dier nie..'haha..
put dat aside..den we go through tajwid..den suddenly..
'eh mane kwn awk yg lagy satu tu?da la tk nmpk dier..'pointin at me..

terkejut aku..asl lak dier nie tnye aku..tnye laen org tk le ke..den i noe la he talkin abt hym..
'ouh dier keje kot ..sbb tu tk dtg..' mcm la aku tau ..
..

n yea really had fun yest..bt too bad its only once a week klass...

kae den..wanna go eat now...

eeQa outz..

pain

2009-08-05T21:05:00.000+08:00

+o(..dats how i began my dae todae..my head is spinnin dunno at how many degrees.i pulled myself together n push myself to go sch..i tink since i had dis injury since last week..im becumin weaker..now my brain nerves cells are givin me prob..

in sch juz now i have a teriible headache n i feel almost lyke faintin..bt fortunately im still strong enuf to pull through until 10 am wen i decided to go hm..my frens encouraged me to go hm as its better to rest cz its nt worth stayin in sch in dis condition.

i did went to e doc e few tymes ,bt was given onli 1 dae mc each tyme.how m i gonna recover fully cz im still unwell to walk abt..soo no choice i have to go to sch in dis sorry condition.

wat i fear most is i faint in sch or anytin wud apen to me outside.i also pity my classmates cz dey havin fever and flu..looks lyke half e class is sick.i juz hope dat dis sickness will soon disappear cz prelims is drawing nearer..im sooo scared..haiz..

to a fren,if u hapen to read dis post..hope u understand aite..i wanna sae im sooo sooowie cz i sort of cnt spent e dae wit u tmrw..u noe im still nt well.i really feel guilty..i noe we've been wantin to watch movie since a mth ago bt i guess tyme isnt on our side..i will make it up to u aite?mayb weekends?s 4 tmrw i gif u a small treat to compensate..plish dun be mad..i sms u,bt u didnnt replied..soo i post it here..sowie fren..:(

pathetic

2009-08-03T13:16:00.000+08:00

the new dae of a brand new week is here..hopin it will bring a brand new feelings n hope..bt theres a saein'expect the unexpected'..sounds clishe huh...

god, wt happen to me..i've been so down lately..easy gets emotional even by small tings..recently kae nt so recent..i have problems with myself..i have outcast myself frm my close frens and b a loner..its lyke a 'wanna be alone kinda feeling' which cums to u in a sudden wen ur in e middle of so many probs..so dis feeling somehow makes u react differently w/o u noein..so yea i had my roller coaster ride of feelings..n s i thought i had overcum it..another prob occurs..

recently ,i had encounter a pain near my hip bone..it was sooo frustrating..nt only dat it also make me feel dizzy..i tink its bcoz O level prelims are ard e corner,all dis sickness cums to play..i feel bad abt nt cumin to sch n my attendance is affected..bt wtd if i cum to sch i may asked to go hm n if nt,i cnt concentrate in class..if given a choice i really wana juz cum n attend lessons..bt if sumtin bound to apen,isnt it become a more complicated story..

i've been told dat e teachers are worried abt me..i noe ..bt trust me,its juz nt me. to skip sch..i will ensure dat once dis injury recovers..i will nt skip sch..

argh ..even rite now my head is spinning..n still hav a lot to do..revise chem for test on wed,do geo wkshts n ss mindmaps..god..

eeQa outz..

confusseeed..

2009-07-31T22:35:00.000+08:00

ello..here i am writing agaen..im bored stuck at hm n cnt go out..
miss my madrash AGAEN..cz i cnt walk to much due to sumtin..n my head spinin s if juz had a roller coaster ride..haha

s i as typin dis post,i also chat wit a fren n tink abt myself..well wen matters of heart cums n hit us in e brain n heart..we cnt tell wts is rite n rong..theres no such ting wen it cums to dis sensitif issue..L.O.V.E..

i too have probs regarding dis..n i dunno how much longer cn i stand..dis guy enters my life 6 mths ago after a long period of fenship..i noe e sail is nt alwaes smooth..ups n downs alwaez there n waitin 4 us..bt i cnt help bt tink -ve..nowades jarng cntct..i noe hes bz cz xam round e corner..bt i kinda mish hym..i noe im tryin really hard to tink +ve..bt in fact...
well now im nt tinkin abt dat anymore..my priority is O level.. i will achieve dat 1st n settle other stuffs ltr..i juz hope he will understand n change..even a noraml person cn use a fn to kol rite even how bz he/she is..c'mon beb..wake up..mayb there's rally sum1 out there who is made 4 u..mayb dis..is another puppyluv..

it hurts though to tink abt it..dear god..do give me way to solve dis..

eeqa signing off..:)...

HELLO!

2009-07-31T16:49:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps!This is my 1st tyme boggin..erm well im nt used to dis bloggin stuff n yea i hope to use it wisely n njoy it lyke all other bloggers do..:)i noe i sound lyke a bimbo..haha..well s i mentioned its my 1st tyme bloggin..i had a ..well..hard n dumb tyme tryin to do e lyout n stuff done n i 'torture' a fren of mine to assist me..haha reaally dummy ..

dis week its been haywire 4 me..in fact its e 2nd week..i've been nt well n umm hav sum probs..i've kip to myself n let noone cums near me..n of coz my close frens n i had sum misunderstandings abt it..bt im glad dat e prob is over..n we're frens aaen..i learned dat nt bein urself will lead to hate..n frm now onwards i will hold dis saein'sae wat u mean,mean wt u sae'..hehe..n i also lyke a phrase 'look lyke a dummy bt dun b 1'..hahas..

kae den..