Wednesday, August 19, 2009

after a night slip n relax my brain cells..i feel a bit better..prelim starting dis fridae..i am looking forward to fridae cz many things gonna hapen after e papers..after papers,will be going out..at least there's sum1 who wish to go out with me..jalan2..haha..bt puase no way..

bt wt worrys me is dat..skg duet nga ketat..how to go out..tk kn nk jady free loader la plk..hmm..lau dun mind eatin at hm den its okie lor..actually mlz se nk kelua..bt since u insist,kae den..blanje uh kae awk..lol..

kk..juz now early in e morn..da uat hal..cirit birit la,pening la,apela..semua kelua..i was lyke shit la..den trpakse cum at 1 juz to noe malay O level results..majority gets a B3 n merit for language n oral respectively..

but wt really touch me is dat,khaileeda's reaction..im happy 4 u..congrats on getting an A :)..i alr noe u cn do it..u dun hav to tink -ve all e tyme aite..yeap bt den we were asked to and recommended to retake to achieve a better grade..n sooo...e paper is signed..

my result is expected cz ryte aftr sitting for e mly paper in jun,i have no faith in gettin an A,i thought i wud be getting a B3 or B4..at dat point of tyme,i cnt really developed ideas for paper 1..now, i will read on to have more unnderstanding n kip in track of news ard..
dis mon is eng 0 level oral..ishk..scared sia..i scared cnt score..

in tymes lyke dis..my thoughts went back to hym..urgh..i still remember how he cheer me on during mdy exam..who's gonna cheer me on now..i noe i shud'nt be relying on his support bt wtd its in memories..

a fren complained to me nt long ago..
her: 'kn bagus kalo ade mataer..ade org nk love..tkla boring'
me: 'bagus tu bagus la if u cn find e ryte one n also yg tolak ansur..u c me..u cn tell'
her: 'ala bt now u still have new frens pe yg knl2..haha..i satu pon tkde..haha'
me: 'haha..lau nk amek uh..i dunwan..i wanna find sum1 lyke sexy charisma..den im sastified..'

haha..now no more love in mind..juz frendshp..i make a promise to myself..frm now on,if i were to fall in love agaen..i will find sum1 lyke sexy charisma..hes so charming..his face is relax n natural..n love his smile..haha..
*cross hands near heart* i wish i cud mit wit sexy charisma one dae n go date..lol..

hearts & kisses
~eeQa~

Labels: recovery

i noe its already late at nite..in fact its alr morn..wtd i cnt slip..spent e dae outside go uncle hz n lot 1 in e evening for a while..even ryte now i juz have dis feeling dat wnt leave me for good..
i try all means to shake dis fcukin feelin away..bt..

browsing through ss501 videos on youtube..a really suitable song catch my attention..im nt bein emo bt i really do find e lyrics is as if talkin abt wt im facin now..'be nice to me,please-kim hyung joong'.. out of all e other solo collection songs which each one of them had ..dis song has a deep meaning if u understand it..

haiz..a chatter chat wit me earlier on..a new fren..i was lyke wonderin y i kip noein ppl frm east side..haha..actually hav no mood to chat wit any1 n pwefer alone,bt i noe its nt helpin..so ya..starts frendly conversion. he ask whether wen im free..i saed nt sure..haha..among e qns asked,only i cnt ans dis ans..

hym:eh u okae..?wts rong..
me:am nt in bes of mood ..sowie uh..
hym:u sgl or att?

now dats e qn i cnt ans..how m i supose to ans..bt i noe frm e way it is now,e ans is -ve..

me:dunno..tukar topic cn?

n yea..bt i really wanna tankx e malay gals,khai,fazzy,amalina,fad n also nana for tryin to cheer me up yest...
there's really no kols or smses..is dis it?
tabahkan la hatiku ini..



sesungguhnye perpisahan ini paling menyakitkan...frens bear wit me aite..dis wk if im quiet in klas..PLS,PLS dun misunderstand..cz i really wanna focuz in klas n also b calm..so..yea i dun wan history to repeat..:)..
goin to get sum slip now..


hearts & kisses
~eeQa~

Labels: replaced

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

SURRENDER..!!!!!

dats how i feel rite now..finally i've cum to my senses..thx 4 letting me find out who u r..thx 4 letting me living in hope ..thx 4 help me realise how foolish i am .yea mayb now ur laughin at my stupidness..

u were so wrong bt i still love u..

ryte now..i really dunno how to phrase it..e hurt dat is being rubbed in,getting deeper n deeper..if only u noe im true to u in all ways..u'ill never be able to imagine how i feel ryte now..its really hard u noe dat.. i cant believe u do dis.

i never ever imagine im wud be smashed hard against e wall uh..y..dats wt i wanna noe..i wanna listen to e intentions of e real u..

kte da cm strangers..i da uat everytin i can to b perfect in ur eyes..bt i guess im wronged..now i dunno wt im gonna do..wtever it is wish u happiness over my grieveness..n thx uh 4 showing me wt luv is abt..e pain xperience really matures me.

ryte now dis heart is xtremely hurt n nt sure whether it can be mend....

selamat tinggal...kekasihku...;(..semoga kau bahagia..


hearts n kisses
~eeQa~

Labels: replaced

Saturday, August 15, 2009

i was not bloggin 4 a while due to recovery..isolate myself frm e net..acept checkin mails..bt now...

im back..well agaen..am so happy...haha..

kk..spent 3 daes at hm restin,do sum revisions...n try to drive myself away frm tinkin of us 4 a while..
todae went back to sch wit an open heart..thank god i didnt faint..todae is e tiredest dae..after went to sheng siong (4get to spell la)..receive a kol frm cik muna to take food hm..i was lyke..'argh'..

rushin here and there..den have 2 xam at mad..(havnt learn sia..shh)..doom waitin 4 me...bt i noe..im nt e only 1..satu klas jiwe..haha..at yew tee..e charlies angels arrive 1st follow by charlie..hehe..bt on second thought..i declsred us 5 as e jiwez..haha..
kae crappy...

rite now im too high alr(dun tink -ve only uh)..a close fren of mine help me wit e blogskin n stuff..i dunno since wen i started to fall in luv with korea popular boyband ss501....esp lucky sexy charisma..hes ..urgh...haha..wanna noe who?..go find out urself or if noe,shut up..haha... ya..so sorry sorry if e blog u r reading suddenly appears to be a sum kind of korea freak one..bt im a malay kae..dun 4get dat..sooo
credits shud go to EKIN DINZLY...hehe..thx beb..lau tungu aku yg update ,download nie semua berejam la jwb nye.. ..tady sendiri jeewangz xplain abt anti virus stuffs...i +blur+....haha cnt blame me..

till den..now i wanna surf net..cnt slip la..cz im frusfrated rite now..all my emotions are mixed..so wanna chill..hehe


hearts n kisses
~eeQa~

Labels: madness

Saturday, August 8, 2009

yest finally im feeling better after restin 4 a while at hm..*thankfully*..
i went to sch yest n 7 ppl turn up..2 malay n 5 chinese..heheh..n yea mdm chan saw me,asking'eh..wt apen to u?i only get to c you todae..wt apen to e rest?'

den i tell her e reason n she's shock..well now dat im back..i continue oo work hard agaen since exam is nearing..yester too e malay gals pllan an outing together..unfortunately i cnt go..n yea i've to imagine e fun n laughter..bt nvm..s long dey havin fun den its nt a prob..

yest too at madrasah was funny too..it all started wen i mit with ekin,insy at int..yest i was usin lanyard n hang my fn under my shawl..my plan was to read e notes which i've stored inside e fone 4 my reference 4 e test im gonna take...eventhough e wee r standin in a cool conditioned mrt,we r still sweatin..insy started to take out her fan n was fannin away...we start to joke ard n at a point she hit my hand wit her fan which she thought was ekin's hand..haha..

yest ekin transfered her 'new stocks' to me via hp..she likes KHJ,insy likes KB N me likes LMH..haha..we were callin each other names n yea miss the jokes..

tyme madrasah lagyla kecoh..i ask uztaz 4 e test paper n he was lyke
'aik,lama nah awk nk amek.da brpe lama dah..knpe skg aru nk ckp..'
n i saed
'err saya baru dtg hary nie..ade mc uztaz..sbb tu la ckp skg..'

ekin n insy was lyke laughin n laughin..in e end uztaz sae i take e test durin puasa..n ask frm 1 uztazah bcoz he alr bring back e papers..

den we had our arab lesson...n was told to do 2 task.e second task initially was easy bt den cz our brain cells nt functionin ..we stood there lyke goblogz..haha..i was heran cz asl bdk2 guys dgn cptnye le complete n kteorg terkial2 je..da tu smpt la tngk 'abg merah' walk past..ish3 tk patut tk patut krg..
n guess wat..after askin shah how to do,we also step uh..
'a'ah la kau..sng gnie pon tk tau uat..pe la..aku da tau da..'hahaha..

at 915,uztaz fav jeewangz came n take over e klass unusually early..i was lyke
'mimpi ke pe dier nie..'haha..
put dat aside..den we go through tajwid..den suddenly..
'eh mane kwn awk yg lagy satu tu?da la tk nmpk dier..'pointin at me..

terkejut aku..asl lak dier nie tnye aku..tnye laen org tk le ke..den i noe la he talkin abt hym..
'ouh dier keje kot ..sbb tu tk dtg..' mcm la aku tau ..
..

n yea really had fun yest..bt too bad its only once a week klass...

kae den..wanna go eat now...


eeQa outz..

Labels: superfun

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

+o(..dats how i began my dae todae..my head is spinnin dunno at how many degrees.i pulled myself together n push myself to go sch..i tink since i had dis injury since last week..im becumin weaker..now my brain nerves cells are givin me prob..

in sch juz now i have a teriible headache n i feel almost lyke faintin..bt fortunately im still strong enuf to pull through until 10 am wen i decided to go hm..my frens encouraged me to go hm as its better to rest cz its nt worth stayin in sch in dis condition.

i did went to e doc e few tymes ,bt was given onli 1 dae mc each tyme.how m i gonna recover fully cz im still unwell to walk abt..soo no choice i have to go to sch in dis sorry condition.

wat i fear most is i faint in sch or anytin wud apen to me outside.i also pity my classmates cz dey havin fever and flu..looks lyke half e class is sick.i juz hope dat dis sickness will soon disappear cz prelims is drawing nearer..im sooo scared..haiz..

to a fren,if u hapen to read dis post..hope u understand aite..i wanna sae im sooo sooowie cz i sort of cnt spent e dae wit u tmrw..u noe im still nt well.i really feel guilty..i noe we've been wantin to watch movie since a mth ago bt i guess tyme isnt on our side..i will make it up to u aite?mayb weekends?s 4 tmrw i gif u a small treat to compensate..plish dun be mad..i sms u,bt u didnnt replied..soo i post it here..sowie fren..:(

Labels: haywire

Monday, August 3, 2009

the new dae of a brand new week is here..hopin it will bring a brand new feelings n hope..bt theres a saein'expect the unexpected'..sounds clishe huh...

god, wt happen to me..i've been so down lately..easy gets emotional even by small tings..recently kae nt so recent..i have problems with myself..i have outcast myself frm my close frens and b a loner..its lyke a 'wanna be alone kinda feeling' which cums to u in a sudden wen ur in e middle of so many probs..so dis feeling somehow makes u react differently w/o u noein..so yea i had my roller coaster ride of feelings..n s i thought i had overcum it..another prob occurs..

recently ,i had encounter a pain near my hip bone..it was sooo frustrating..nt only dat it also make me feel dizzy..i tink its bcoz O level prelims are ard e corner,all dis sickness cums to play..i feel bad abt nt cumin to sch n my attendance is affected..bt wtd if i cum to sch i may asked to go hm n if nt,i cnt concentrate in class..if given a choice i really wana juz cum n attend lessons..bt if sumtin bound to apen,isnt it become a more complicated story..

i've been told dat e teachers are worried abt me..i noe ..bt trust me,its juz nt me. to skip sch..i will ensure dat once dis injury recovers..i will nt skip sch..

argh ..even rite now my head is spinning..n still hav a lot to do..revise chem for test on wed,do geo wkshts n ss mindmaps..god..

eeQa outz..